Two steps forward and one step back

Thursday 23/6/16

Please excuse the last entries about the internet; obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about.  I'm a bit of a technophobe.  It's a totally different world to me.  I have no idea who is reading these blogs and what is thought of them.  Why did I say two steps forward and one step back?  Last night I found myself slipping lightly back into my old habits about swallowing. I find myself in a bit of a dilemma.  As I put on weight I feel as if I was healthier before than I am now with this extra weight.  My stomach and feet feel fat and bloated.  I am at odds with myself. A thought occurred to me that my swelling feet coincided with my retaking of Amitriptyline, which had been prescribed for me when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia before the M.S. diagnosis.  So I didn't take any last night, consequently I took another 5mg Diazepam because I couldn't sleep.  It was a hot sticky night and full of thunder and lightening for most of the time.  I was really tired in the morning and got up very late for me;  Dreaming about being at a beach.  I think I had got there with my married couple friends.  I was marvelling at the sight of dolphins and a whale and numerous birds.  I was a little concerned that I had lost my lift home although I saw the husband at one time but then I walked on (this must have been a dream as I would never have walked that far).  Then I saw my husband and then I was in another dream where I was in an Art Class trying to draw a circle.I had a ruler and we had to draw a diameter marking a 5 inch spot and another 3 inches but it had to add up to ten.  I got really confused and frustrated and gave up.

I also have a return of my former bowel problem of wanting to go all the time and being constipated.  Still I'm seeing the bladder and bowel clinic on the first of July; next Friday.  I wonder if me feeling so fat and bloated has anything to do with me watching the third part of the Twilight saga yesterday.  You know when something is bad for you and you probably shouldn't do it but you do anyway; something drew me to this when I watched the first few minutes of it.  I'll have to see it to the end now to find out what happens, but I bet it will have a negative emotional impact on me.

Well I and my husband  have done our voting on whether to be in or out of the European common market. My husband voted one way and I the other so I guess we kind of cancelled each other out.  My prediction is that it will be the biggest turnout for a vote ever and that it will ultimately end up with us remaining in because people don't like change and are afraid of opting out.  We'll see tomorrow morning.

Still got puffy feet and a bloaty stomach.

Bye for now