28/3/2017
Weighed myself this morning and I'm now up to 9 stone 3lbs. Weight just falls off you when you don't eat. so you'd think the solution to stop getting bigger is just don't eat, nut it's not as simple as that. It seems like I've joined the main populous and am like everyone else trying to lose weight. After months of trying to eat all the things that are bad for you Chocolate, ice ream and biscuits etc. I now have to do a complete 180 degree turn and do the opposite. no chocolate no biscuits, no Ice cream. It's harder when you've done the opposite for so long. I feel hungry all the time now whereas before I didn't.
It's so difficult to STOP IT.
Bye for now
Tuesday 28 March 2017
Thursday 23 March 2017
Addicted
23/3/2017
I have just sent a second urgent for diazepam as I only have 5 tablets left and I take 2 a day, But I think sometimes I forget that I've taken one and take another, especially at bedtime. I've also become addicted to the Chocca Mocca coffees. This is making me fat and although I've bought fruit to eat instead of Chocolate when I have my coffees I just can't resist the chocolate, so I guess I'm addicted to that too.
What is it about addiction I know I'm stronger than this; at least I have been in the past.
How do we find the strength to fight our additions?
I'll keep trying and let's see where we(I) get.
Bye for now
I have just sent a second urgent for diazepam as I only have 5 tablets left and I take 2 a day, But I think sometimes I forget that I've taken one and take another, especially at bedtime. I've also become addicted to the Chocca Mocca coffees. This is making me fat and although I've bought fruit to eat instead of Chocolate when I have my coffees I just can't resist the chocolate, so I guess I'm addicted to that too.
What is it about addiction I know I'm stronger than this; at least I have been in the past.
How do we find the strength to fight our additions?
I'll keep trying and let's see where we(I) get.
Bye for now
Thursday 16 March 2017
CRB or DBSs
16/3/2017
After the frantic hullaballoo of getting CRBs about a decade or so ago. There still doesn't seem to be any straightforward answers to the practices of holding and using a CRB. We don't even know whether to call it a CRB or DBS anymore. This is utter and sheer madness, and has been from day one. I'm self-employed. There seems to be even more confusion for us than for employers.
I'm getting too fat now and feel sluggish and unhealthy. Being addicted to Chocca Moccas doesn't help in keeping the weight down especially if you don't exercise due to pain or fatigue.
As you know I have difficulty in swallowing so liquids which pose the greatest problem have to be at a certain consistency, which is equal to the Chocca Moccas. So at least I'm taking on some fluids.
Bye for now
After the frantic hullaballoo of getting CRBs about a decade or so ago. There still doesn't seem to be any straightforward answers to the practices of holding and using a CRB. We don't even know whether to call it a CRB or DBS anymore. This is utter and sheer madness, and has been from day one. I'm self-employed. There seems to be even more confusion for us than for employers.
I'm getting too fat now and feel sluggish and unhealthy. Being addicted to Chocca Moccas doesn't help in keeping the weight down especially if you don't exercise due to pain or fatigue.
As you know I have difficulty in swallowing so liquids which pose the greatest problem have to be at a certain consistency, which is equal to the Chocca Moccas. So at least I'm taking on some fluids.
Bye for now
Monday 13 March 2017
Eye, eye
1303/2017
Having just posted a form to the DVLA that my eyesight was problem less, I know have floaters and some flashing in my left eye, but it doesn't bother me and doesn't affect my driving; not that I go anywhere much these days just the doctors, the chemist and church which is just up the road. Oh yes I'm also teaching a girl to play the guitar tonight; she's my friend's next door neighbour. I still haven't found my tuner, as we still haven't sorted out the kitchen mess. that's what I should be doing now. Still haven't found my purpose in life. Does anyone really know? And does it change from day to day or even by the hour or minute?
Just think I'll have a cup of coffee before I start to move some kitchen stuff again and try to find, with my wonky eye, my tuner.
Bye for now
Having just posted a form to the DVLA that my eyesight was problem less, I know have floaters and some flashing in my left eye, but it doesn't bother me and doesn't affect my driving; not that I go anywhere much these days just the doctors, the chemist and church which is just up the road. Oh yes I'm also teaching a girl to play the guitar tonight; she's my friend's next door neighbour. I still haven't found my tuner, as we still haven't sorted out the kitchen mess. that's what I should be doing now. Still haven't found my purpose in life. Does anyone really know? And does it change from day to day or even by the hour or minute?
Just think I'll have a cup of coffee before I start to move some kitchen stuff again and try to find, with my wonky eye, my tuner.
Bye for now
Friday 10 March 2017
What with these feet?
10/3/2017
Just received an email from The M.S. society telling me to walk to raise awareness and/or money for MS. I have MS. plus very bad feet. Someone will have to do the walking for me. My husband works at home at the moment but it seems unlikely that this will continue much longer so I'll have to start doing a lot more for myself than I do now, especially housework, shopping, cooking, washing dishes etc.
I'm not lazy honest just fatigue very easily ( and did I mention I have very bad feet).
Bye for now
Just received an email from The M.S. society telling me to walk to raise awareness and/or money for MS. I have MS. plus very bad feet. Someone will have to do the walking for me. My husband works at home at the moment but it seems unlikely that this will continue much longer so I'll have to start doing a lot more for myself than I do now, especially housework, shopping, cooking, washing dishes etc.
I'm not lazy honest just fatigue very easily ( and did I mention I have very bad feet).
Bye for now
Tuesday 7 March 2017
Dreamer
7/2/2017
Our church is on a mission to read the bible in a year. I've fallen way behind and just read Luke Chapter 8. Now I've read this many times before. I've never thought about this before but in verse 23 it says that Jesus lay down for a nap. there are lots of things to be taken out of this chapter no doubt; but this time I was really struck with the question 'What did Jesus Dream?' We are told in many ways he was just an ordinary person like any of us, but I put a lot of store in dreams and if I was God or the Son of God What would I dream? Would it be a dram of heaven or a mixture of the days events or of things to come? I'm still pondering that one I guess it's another one of those mysteries that can never be known to us mortals, but it is something worth pondering about I think.
Bye for now
Our church is on a mission to read the bible in a year. I've fallen way behind and just read Luke Chapter 8. Now I've read this many times before. I've never thought about this before but in verse 23 it says that Jesus lay down for a nap. there are lots of things to be taken out of this chapter no doubt; but this time I was really struck with the question 'What did Jesus Dream?' We are told in many ways he was just an ordinary person like any of us, but I put a lot of store in dreams and if I was God or the Son of God What would I dream? Would it be a dram of heaven or a mixture of the days events or of things to come? I'm still pondering that one I guess it's another one of those mysteries that can never be known to us mortals, but it is something worth pondering about I think.
Bye for now
Sunday 5 March 2017
Walk like a crab
5/2/2017
What they don't tell you is though it may take a week to get the kitchen cleared (probably more); you're still left with sorting out mounds of rubbish and having to chuck out things you can't use anymore. I started teaching guitar to a little girl last week and I still can't find my tuner, been looking for a week now. I have to walk like a crab round the house; it's a wonder I haven't fallen yet.
WHERE'S MY TUNER?
A friend of mine died yesterday. She was 108, but you still feel the loss even though she'd moved away.
Feel a little sad because of that and unfulfilled because my friend isn't coming back to church anymore as he says he has another job. I am still searching for what my purpose is in life now due to my differing circumstances. I don't know what I can and can't do anymore that would be of any use to anyone, or even for myself. I've already broken my new year idea of cutting down on the mochas in fact I think I've increased them today.
Bye for now
What they don't tell you is though it may take a week to get the kitchen cleared (probably more); you're still left with sorting out mounds of rubbish and having to chuck out things you can't use anymore. I started teaching guitar to a little girl last week and I still can't find my tuner, been looking for a week now. I have to walk like a crab round the house; it's a wonder I haven't fallen yet.
WHERE'S MY TUNER?
A friend of mine died yesterday. She was 108, but you still feel the loss even though she'd moved away.
Feel a little sad because of that and unfulfilled because my friend isn't coming back to church anymore as he says he has another job. I am still searching for what my purpose is in life now due to my differing circumstances. I don't know what I can and can't do anymore that would be of any use to anyone, or even for myself. I've already broken my new year idea of cutting down on the mochas in fact I think I've increased them today.
Bye for now
Thursday 2 March 2017
The Necessary
2/3/2017
I had what was probably my last session with a counsellor yesterday and he quoted a Roman Soldier 'Only do what is necessary and be glad about it'. I've been thinking about that quite a bit lately. In may case, I mostly can only do what is necessary before I get fatigued, Which isn't a lot and at first I used to get very frustrated with the whole situation, but accepting it and being glad has made me much calmer and happier. I realised I was always looking at the half empty glass; now it makes life so much easier to look at the glass as half full. you can only do what you are able to and that the end of it.
Keep Calm
Bye for now
I had what was probably my last session with a counsellor yesterday and he quoted a Roman Soldier 'Only do what is necessary and be glad about it'. I've been thinking about that quite a bit lately. In may case, I mostly can only do what is necessary before I get fatigued, Which isn't a lot and at first I used to get very frustrated with the whole situation, but accepting it and being glad has made me much calmer and happier. I realised I was always looking at the half empty glass; now it makes life so much easier to look at the glass as half full. you can only do what you are able to and that the end of it.
Keep Calm
Bye for now
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