14th October 2016 (Friday)
I woke up this morning as most mornings, not knowing what day it was. I had to ask my husband and he bombarded me with questions like where am I who's the prime minister, which I couldn't answer because of my lack of interest in politics. I finally said as I looked out the curtains 'Theresa May'. that was about 5 minutes later. I was wondering as I ;aid the clothes out for washing last night, why I was a Tee shirt short. I went to sleep perplexing on it to find out that I'm a day early; washday is Saturday; today is Friday.
Everyday is nearly the same. Porridge for breakfast with pears and stewed apple mid morning is a Fortecreme and lunch time is my main meal of the da except days like today when I have to go out p.m. and I have scrambled egg on toast as I do every other day at 4ish, because I'm still taking a long time to eat.
Bed at 9pm and a diazepam to get to sleep after writing an indecipherable diary and praying the Lords prayer of protection while I sleep (see earlier entry on prayer).
I managed to get my filling done yesterday after 40 mg of diazepam down me. I held my left arm up once to swallow, but no choking this time. I'm 8 stone now and I don't like it. I did a little exercise from Mr Motivator's DVD (well the bit he's got on YouTube for M..S.just the warm up and seated exercises and I've put weight on ;Typical)
Otherwise it's the same old thing day after day.; week after week. my feet are no longer puffy, but still hurting.
Happy Groundhog day
Bye for now
Friday 14 October 2016
Saturday 8 October 2016
Everryone has their demons
8th October 2016
It's definitely fear that affects my swallowing. Ever since I've known I have to have a replacement filling, I've taken a step back with my swallowing. I seem to have to clear my throat a thousand times before swallowing everything and thus the time to eat has increased again; back to 2 hours to eat my dinner last night and then I didn't finish it and it was a kiddies meal, with my own veg. I also saw the chiropodist yesterday about this pain under my right big toenail and she said the only cure is to take a slice of the toenail off, so naturally I wasn't too happy about that. Last night I dreamt I was a prisoner of war and we were all rounded up and had to take s certain medicine. I thought it would taste horrible but it didn't, but I felt a little strange afterwards, like I do when I've taken too much diazepam.
That reminds me I have to get some medicine from the chemist now before he shuts for the weekend.
I once wrote a song called 'Demons'. 'Demons go away and don't come back again is in the chorus'
Bye for now
It's definitely fear that affects my swallowing. Ever since I've known I have to have a replacement filling, I've taken a step back with my swallowing. I seem to have to clear my throat a thousand times before swallowing everything and thus the time to eat has increased again; back to 2 hours to eat my dinner last night and then I didn't finish it and it was a kiddies meal, with my own veg. I also saw the chiropodist yesterday about this pain under my right big toenail and she said the only cure is to take a slice of the toenail off, so naturally I wasn't too happy about that. Last night I dreamt I was a prisoner of war and we were all rounded up and had to take s certain medicine. I thought it would taste horrible but it didn't, but I felt a little strange afterwards, like I do when I've taken too much diazepam.
That reminds me I have to get some medicine from the chemist now before he shuts for the weekend.
I once wrote a song called 'Demons'. 'Demons go away and don't come back again is in the chorus'
Bye for now
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