Mon 8/8/2016
When I was loosing weight at an alarming rate I felt like the incredible shrinking woman and there was no end in sight but death from my point of view. Now I'm putting on weight I feel fat, because it's all gone round my middle. I went to the Staff BarBQ at the Nursing Home where I go for one hour a week and I stayed inside watching the TV while all the other staff rushed around getting drinks and tables etc. set up. I looked at the food and thought I couldn't eat it anyway because it was spicy and not on my list of foods. I hadn't brought my Fortecreme, because I thought I would be eating something. But just sitting there not being able to help out made me feel redundant and invisible. I just took a couple of photos and left early.
Loss of confidence and energy has made me quite down not to mention the lack of sleep, which has added to my predicament. I really do feel like a nobody, a nothing right now because I can't do what I would like to be able to do to help out, and help myself.
I saw the counsellor this morning and I am to repeat a mantra to myself every day I am Kind, Caring and Honest. This is to help my low self esteem. I've been bogged down with negative thoughts about myself for so long that I can't think anything else right now If I recognise a negative thought,(which is nearly all the time) I am to drop it. Easier said than done, but I will give it a go.
Bye again
Problemswallower
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