28/9/2016
I'm getting bored with the same food every day, so for a change today I had a baked potato and tuna, mayo and veg. It was a fairly large potato which even my husband said he would struggle with, but I was scraping the last remnants out of it like a dog at a bone. I even commented how lovely it was. Maybe this is because I had just come from a good session with my counsellor where to help me with the dentist problem, he told me I can do the meditation myself without the help of a recording. I simply have to sit comfortably and visualise the bright light, above my head, forming a healing cone around me. Starting from the top of my head relaxing down like a body scan, till it reaches the floor and out. If I have any negative thoughts then put them to one side saying I'll deal with you later or something like that. I had a few goes and it did relax me, as that's shat he said seems to be the most important thing for me to be able to do right now. He's retiring soon, so my next session in a months time will probably be my last, but thanks to fortuity, I think for once in my life I may have got the timing right and won't need to see him any more. I'm up to 7 stone 12 now, but I'm still a little slow at swallowing and especially drinking, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel now and it's not from a coming train.
I'm so glad that 'Strictly' is back.
We've just about finalised the kitchen plans and we'll be going to sign on the dotted line this week. So that's relieved the boredom a little.
Anyway
Bye for now
Wednesday, 28 September 2016
Tuesday, 20 September 2016
What a bummer
20th September 2016
For about 4 years now we have been dreaming and plotting to go to America for what will probably be our last opportunity, to see the total eclipse. We didn't book it in advance because we didn't know how I would be. If you look at what accommodation is left for the eclipse day; it is 95% full (well probably 100% by now) and every room has doubled or tripled in value. Our major problem as far as I'm concerned is that all my medication is in liquid form, because I can't swallow tablets. That would make an interesting time at the airport for starters. We'd have to get the equivalent blue badge for every State we drive through, and I don't know if we can get insurance for M.S. some car companies don't want to know. So it looks like our plans have to be abandoned. frankly I don't think I'd have the energy to do what we used to do on our previous holidays many years ago now. how I wish I could be that well again.
What a bummer
Anyway Strictly starts soon Yay!
Bye for now
For about 4 years now we have been dreaming and plotting to go to America for what will probably be our last opportunity, to see the total eclipse. We didn't book it in advance because we didn't know how I would be. If you look at what accommodation is left for the eclipse day; it is 95% full (well probably 100% by now) and every room has doubled or tripled in value. Our major problem as far as I'm concerned is that all my medication is in liquid form, because I can't swallow tablets. That would make an interesting time at the airport for starters. We'd have to get the equivalent blue badge for every State we drive through, and I don't know if we can get insurance for M.S. some car companies don't want to know. So it looks like our plans have to be abandoned. frankly I don't think I'd have the energy to do what we used to do on our previous holidays many years ago now. how I wish I could be that well again.
What a bummer
Anyway Strictly starts soon Yay!
Bye for now
Friday, 9 September 2016
When you gotta blow you gotta blow,( but act natural)
Friday 9th September 2016
One of the troubles with not being able to eat enough or not eating the right stuff is constipation.
Last night we had a service in our church to induct our new vicar. There was no-one sitting either side of me which was good, but our Youth leader and his wife were sitting directly behind. Now after spending thirty minutes on the loo this morning I still wasn't able to go all day, not even after lunch, so I took a Movecal which is supposed to help, but all it did was give me very small farts all afternoon and into the evening. Well you can't undo what you've done, so I went to the service sat as far away as I could from people, but you can't stop someone sitting behind you. I guess I could have given them a warning. Every time I stood up to sing and a couple of times when I was praying out they came. Fortunately they weren't very loud or smelly (well at least not to me). I didn't like to ask our youth leader and wife or I would have given the game away. On reflection it may have been better to sit in a group of people and look around quizzically.
My swollen feet have started to go down, now that the weather is a bit cooler. I weighed myself this morning and I am now 7 stone 9 pounds. I don't really want to get up to 8 stone as I am only 5 feet 2. My big belly is starting to come back through lack of exercise. I still haven't found a good time to exercise yet, when I'm not exhausted from doing ordinary housework (not that I do much).
I'll have to read up on managing my comments because my niece said she couldn't comment when she tried.
Bye for now
One of the troubles with not being able to eat enough or not eating the right stuff is constipation.
Last night we had a service in our church to induct our new vicar. There was no-one sitting either side of me which was good, but our Youth leader and his wife were sitting directly behind. Now after spending thirty minutes on the loo this morning I still wasn't able to go all day, not even after lunch, so I took a Movecal which is supposed to help, but all it did was give me very small farts all afternoon and into the evening. Well you can't undo what you've done, so I went to the service sat as far away as I could from people, but you can't stop someone sitting behind you. I guess I could have given them a warning. Every time I stood up to sing and a couple of times when I was praying out they came. Fortunately they weren't very loud or smelly (well at least not to me). I didn't like to ask our youth leader and wife or I would have given the game away. On reflection it may have been better to sit in a group of people and look around quizzically.
My swollen feet have started to go down, now that the weather is a bit cooler. I weighed myself this morning and I am now 7 stone 9 pounds. I don't really want to get up to 8 stone as I am only 5 feet 2. My big belly is starting to come back through lack of exercise. I still haven't found a good time to exercise yet, when I'm not exhausted from doing ordinary housework (not that I do much).
I'll have to read up on managing my comments because my niece said she couldn't comment when she tried.
Bye for now
Monday, 5 September 2016
Not a Happy Bunny
September 5th 2016
I am not a happy bunny today. I went for a dental check up yesterday and I need a replacement filling, aaaaaaah! I have to take Diazepam to go just for a check up and she wasn't allowed to use the water to clean out my mouth because of me having a choking fit last time any water touched the back of my throat, so this is going to be very interesting if nothing else and will require diazepam again (a lot).
I had a dream, or was thinking a few nights ago about what am I able to do with my life now. I used to sing a lot, but haven't much of a voice now. I used to dance presentation dances in the church, but my body won't or can't do what I want it to most of the time, so I suddenly remembered that I like reading maps; Inspired by the Olympics and having to watch formula One on a Sunday with my husband I suddenly thought with a rush of adrenaline that I could be the co-driver with cross country rallying. we used to watch that a way back. This is absolutely absurd as I start screaming when my husband suddenly puts the pedal to the metal to overtake. It's just laughable (and I need Diazepam to go to the dentist). where's that bravery when you need it?
I had a better dream the other night; that I was teaching my class again and we were working in pairs on weight training, by pushing and having a tug of war. Can't see that happening for a while as I'm not doing any exercise at all now (well the occasional Tai chi). Just don't have the time because I'm always eating. I would like to give yoga a try again, but you're not supposed to do it just after eating, so when will I be able to do it?
Still Strictly is coming back in 2ish weeks. yeah!!!!As you can guess I'm a big fan.
Bye for now
I am not a happy bunny today. I went for a dental check up yesterday and I need a replacement filling, aaaaaaah! I have to take Diazepam to go just for a check up and she wasn't allowed to use the water to clean out my mouth because of me having a choking fit last time any water touched the back of my throat, so this is going to be very interesting if nothing else and will require diazepam again (a lot).
I had a dream, or was thinking a few nights ago about what am I able to do with my life now. I used to sing a lot, but haven't much of a voice now. I used to dance presentation dances in the church, but my body won't or can't do what I want it to most of the time, so I suddenly remembered that I like reading maps; Inspired by the Olympics and having to watch formula One on a Sunday with my husband I suddenly thought with a rush of adrenaline that I could be the co-driver with cross country rallying. we used to watch that a way back. This is absolutely absurd as I start screaming when my husband suddenly puts the pedal to the metal to overtake. It's just laughable (and I need Diazepam to go to the dentist). where's that bravery when you need it?
I had a better dream the other night; that I was teaching my class again and we were working in pairs on weight training, by pushing and having a tug of war. Can't see that happening for a while as I'm not doing any exercise at all now (well the occasional Tai chi). Just don't have the time because I'm always eating. I would like to give yoga a try again, but you're not supposed to do it just after eating, so when will I be able to do it?
Still Strictly is coming back in 2ish weeks. yeah!!!!As you can guess I'm a big fan.
Bye for now
Tuesday, 30 August 2016
Changing habits
30th August 2016
You may be wondering why I have not commentated on my swallowing progress for a while, since I said I would try and swallow more quickly and not hold the drink or food in my mouth for a long time before swallowing. The reason for this is that unless the change is very miniscule, I have hardly noticed any. I just saw my counsellor this morning and he told me to think BIG. I am a dramatic dancer and I was asked to visualise how I would dance the way I feel now. which was all closed up and shrivelled and holding various parts of my body that ache or don't work so well. Then I was asked to visualise myself doing it without the constraints. this change in thinking brings Hope. Last time I saw him I had an affirmation to say to myself that I'm Kind Caring and Honest now, I am to change the Kind to hopeful. so I have 2 H's now HCH; Hopeful, Caring and Honest.
It's quite a nice day again today, so I've just been out the back garden doing my 18 Shi ba shi (I think that's how you spell them) Tai chi exercises; but it was very hot on my forehead so I'm a bit giddy now. My counsellor told me to see all the different colour greens there are. It's a bit hard with the sun in your eyes, but there are millions. Therefore there are millions of possibilities for change, if we open ourselves to the possibilities.
I've been challenged by my counsellor to change things again to get out of my rut. Remember, I changed my brush cleaning routine and it did have a slight freeing experience on me. So I am to think outside the box;. Challenge negative thinking and replace it with positive. Sounds familiar, so I'm still not doing it correctly. Just need a lot more practice.
Fold your arms. Now fold them the other way. It's not immediately easy is it? That's what changing our habits are like. Needs thought and practice
My feet are still puffy in this hot weather, by the way.
Bye for now
You may be wondering why I have not commentated on my swallowing progress for a while, since I said I would try and swallow more quickly and not hold the drink or food in my mouth for a long time before swallowing. The reason for this is that unless the change is very miniscule, I have hardly noticed any. I just saw my counsellor this morning and he told me to think BIG. I am a dramatic dancer and I was asked to visualise how I would dance the way I feel now. which was all closed up and shrivelled and holding various parts of my body that ache or don't work so well. Then I was asked to visualise myself doing it without the constraints. this change in thinking brings Hope. Last time I saw him I had an affirmation to say to myself that I'm Kind Caring and Honest now, I am to change the Kind to hopeful. so I have 2 H's now HCH; Hopeful, Caring and Honest.
It's quite a nice day again today, so I've just been out the back garden doing my 18 Shi ba shi (I think that's how you spell them) Tai chi exercises; but it was very hot on my forehead so I'm a bit giddy now. My counsellor told me to see all the different colour greens there are. It's a bit hard with the sun in your eyes, but there are millions. Therefore there are millions of possibilities for change, if we open ourselves to the possibilities.
I've been challenged by my counsellor to change things again to get out of my rut. Remember, I changed my brush cleaning routine and it did have a slight freeing experience on me. So I am to think outside the box;. Challenge negative thinking and replace it with positive. Sounds familiar, so I'm still not doing it correctly. Just need a lot more practice.
Fold your arms. Now fold them the other way. It's not immediately easy is it? That's what changing our habits are like. Needs thought and practice
My feet are still puffy in this hot weather, by the way.
Bye for now
Tuesday, 23 August 2016
Athletic inspiration
23/8/2016
Well I've had a good report from my doctor. My blood test was normal and I'm 7 stone 6 pounds. The only problem now is that I'm still not swallowing normally and I've only manage to put weight on because I've been able to take twice as long as everyone else to ea
t my food. I have to get up that much earlier to allow time to eat; So I try not to have any early appointments. I wonder how long it will be before I can come off the Fortecremes and eat normally (swallow normally) soon I hope?
I must admit that following the Olympic team has inspired me to try and get more mobile and better my self in every way. What a fortnight we had!
Well I've had a good report from my doctor. My blood test was normal and I'm 7 stone 6 pounds. The only problem now is that I'm still not swallowing normally and I've only manage to put weight on because I've been able to take twice as long as everyone else to ea
t my food. I have to get up that much earlier to allow time to eat; So I try not to have any early appointments. I wonder how long it will be before I can come off the Fortecremes and eat normally (swallow normally) soon I hope?
I must admit that following the Olympic team has inspired me to try and get more mobile and better my self in every way. What a fortnight we had!
Tuesday, 16 August 2016
Wherewithall
16/8/2016
I have been using that word Wherewithal a lot lately; the dictionary says it's about not having enough money; like 'I'm sorry I Don't have the wherewithal today' meaning I don't have enough money, but I think it best describes my abilities. I had lunch at my mother in laws on Sunday; She makes a great vegetable lasagne, but I was getting a bit embarrassed about how long it was taking me to eat it while everyone sat around trying to think up new topics of discussion, eventually I gave up and said' I don't have the wherewithal to eat any more'; It does cover a multitude of situations.
I am gradually still gaining weight so I'm up to 7 stone 3 and a 1/2 pounds, but I feel fat and bloated round the stomach. I hope to be able to build up my strength a bit with exercise, but it's difficult when most of your time in the day is taken up eating. I've been watching the Olympics and thinking why can't I run like that or do anything they are doing. I did that BBC on line match of your height and weight to the nearest Olympic competitor. I was matched with a rhythmic gymnast which would be right up my street as I use balls, hoops and ribbons to teach exercise when I am working. Of course we don't do anything like the gymnasts at Olympic standard. I haven't done my class for nearly a year now. I just wonder how long this is going to take for me to be able to eat normally again. We were hoping to go to America nest year to see the Eclipse, but I don't know how much hassle it would be and if I'd be still eating Fortecremes and drinking Fortesips, not to mention disability parking and getting through an airport; I'm not up to walking it at the moment, and I remember there being a lot of walking every time I've been to an airport.
Bye for now
I have been using that word Wherewithal a lot lately; the dictionary says it's about not having enough money; like 'I'm sorry I Don't have the wherewithal today' meaning I don't have enough money, but I think it best describes my abilities. I had lunch at my mother in laws on Sunday; She makes a great vegetable lasagne, but I was getting a bit embarrassed about how long it was taking me to eat it while everyone sat around trying to think up new topics of discussion, eventually I gave up and said' I don't have the wherewithal to eat any more'; It does cover a multitude of situations.
I am gradually still gaining weight so I'm up to 7 stone 3 and a 1/2 pounds, but I feel fat and bloated round the stomach. I hope to be able to build up my strength a bit with exercise, but it's difficult when most of your time in the day is taken up eating. I've been watching the Olympics and thinking why can't I run like that or do anything they are doing. I did that BBC on line match of your height and weight to the nearest Olympic competitor. I was matched with a rhythmic gymnast which would be right up my street as I use balls, hoops and ribbons to teach exercise when I am working. Of course we don't do anything like the gymnasts at Olympic standard. I haven't done my class for nearly a year now. I just wonder how long this is going to take for me to be able to eat normally again. We were hoping to go to America nest year to see the Eclipse, but I don't know how much hassle it would be and if I'd be still eating Fortecremes and drinking Fortesips, not to mention disability parking and getting through an airport; I'm not up to walking it at the moment, and I remember there being a lot of walking every time I've been to an airport.
Bye for now
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